Time.

At the moment, I don't know why am I still wanna type this now. So w-u-l-i-a-o. Super 1. I just realize, time pass really fast. Currently, I wish to just grab the earphones and 'immerse' with my own world. I wasn't like that before. Someone greeted me, I was like a bit blur what is going on. Way too 'immerse'. Why? Because... those frustrations killed me bit by bit without me realizing.

E, I really wish talking to you now at any moment. And May, thanks for being my ear in the college. Really grateful to meet such a good friends like you both. Sometimes, when I feel like bursting, it's just so hard. I thought it'll be that easy. I think I have to start to let go more now.

1 thing just crushed me, and 1 thing I just 'killed'. What's next?? I do not believe that till, someone told me about it. Or there are some 'signs' shown obviously. Why couldn't I see that those are coming. No wonder I saw some random glimpse that it will not happen :( I feel like giving up now. I would rather stop all this. It had been awhile since I had those feelings. And it crushed me once more. I don't want to know what's next. I rather walk away again. Again from all of those feelings that I've kept quite deeply hidden in my heart. Time to forget, time to let go, what had been with me quite awhile. Time to... focus on what's in front of me. I just feel so feeling-less now. Not even an emotion reaction. Why???? It crushed really bad this time. But those moments, I will never forget especially that 1 day. I just don't want to believe that fact. I shall deny them forever.

I am praying for something now. I hope IT'LL be accepted. *praying praying*

By the way, jogging and library become my best friends now. I just feel like jog and jog till my legs can't stand them. I feel really calm eventually after those jogs. And at the same time, I forget those worries I had in mind. I just wanna jog till the end of the earth. Lol. Yes. This is random. When I think back, I don't mind jogging everyday though. It does calm me, so... I don't mind doing it more often.

Trying to find reason to cheer up. I wonder what will happen next semester. I wonder. I don't want to know. . . . . . . It is way too difficult for me to not to think about what had killed me today. I would rather be that silent mouse hiding behind that bush.

Time to get my butt back on my studies. Time wait for no man.

P/s: Keep me strong in faith, and hold me when I need You the most, rescue me when I nearly fall, Dear Lord I pray.

Dream.

I had this weird dream last few weeks ago.. which make me wonder if it actually happened. I don't remember my dreams. Which is a good thing. But it is just a dream. Most of them related to my pasts.. why?? I don't get it though.

I am addicted to exercise now. Especially..... jogging ;D It's like a routine to me now. Going for a jog every week. Instead of once a week, now it's twice a week. Plus bonus of me cycling ;D Well, training both my legs. Woot. Lol. And plus the super sunny weather that tempted me to go out almost everyday. Lol. At first, I feel unfit with unconsistent exercise. But now, I'm feeling much better. And every week, I jog more and more. I feel so much better after that. And proud of my achievement too.

There are memories that still stuck in my mind till now. Especially some random acts which I think funny at first. Everytime I think of them, it make me smile. And sometime laughing. Well well, good memories stay in mind. But but but..... :((( I feel sad when it'll end soon. Can someone just stop the time and let me enjoy every second of that moment? I wish I could turn back time. I wish to stay in those moment forever. Not anymore, I got life to live here. This is the aftermath of daydreaming too much.

Emo-ness suddenly struck me from nowhere. I felt it's a bit ridiculous la. Am missing my hubby piano back home now. Feel like dragging it to my room here so that i can everyday bang on it. Yiruma's songs are really a killer now. Browsing some pictures on the net, brings me back to those moments.. those time when, well.. undescribeable. But it only happened once. I couldn't turn back time and repeat them. Because the past still remain in the past. I can just slowly

Went out with my housemate and we came across this young boy, sitting in front of his parents' shop, asking "Hello.. are you coming in?" That's the part which make me smile :) imagine that little boy, so young at that stage, not knowing that this world is so huge and so many things yet to be learn. I wonder what is in his mind at that time? When he asked us whether we are going into his parents' shop. He seems like been punished, and sat right at the entrance of the shop. But he is so innocent and adorable that we failed to resist the invitation to enter into that shop.

I have lotsa thoughts that make me wonder and question a lot about them. Sometimes I so disagree with them. I mean what people actually thought that I am. I do feel freaking annoyed with what they said. And those people knew me for more than 2 years eyh. You judged me way too soon. Way....too soon. As I said before Never judge a book by its cover. I can't believe some people jump into conclusion that soon. I do respect your comment but please do not label me as one of them. This make me really frustrated at some point. I never thought this would happen.

I can confirm that I'll definitely miss this semester the most. In life, there are so many chapters that you wrote and each chapter are different from one another. I am sure that this current chapter will be in my head till.. I don't know when. Like I said, people do come and go. And definitely those photos create beautiful and unforgettable memories.

Do you know, at some point, I feel like giving up? But I didn't. I nearly. And was down.. stuffs like that for few weeks I think. Another emo-ness struck me. I just feel so low in life at certain time. It is like... I don't know how to say. Maybe because I start to miss some people.. Can someone pause the time? Seriously please. Time just flew so fast. Yesterday, I wish it's Thursday, yet today I wish it's Friday. Then the weekend. I actually don't have much free time on weekends. Well, reason is company my housemate as much as possible before she go back :(( I start to miss her dy. Oh man. Will be stuck in this house alone in Dec. Ah Sa, don't go away okie!!!

This month October, it is definitely the best month I had this year. You must be wondering why.

1st, I got caught into a real surprise. It's the first in my life and first in Australia. I really really feel touched till almost cry. But I didn't. And the candle, really cheat me la. A lot! Basically, you guys caught me really well. Credits to Esther S, Min, Ah Sa, Yuan Ling, Michelle H, Esther K, Xiao Ling & Justine once again. Love you girlsss!!♥♥

2nd, dinner on the day itself. E ar... you really smart ah cheat me go date! Way too smart dy. Really funny till I saw Chris' head from outside. And yeah, really 'kantoi' la. You guys cheat me but I feel it's worth it. Haha.. How nice. N, you're funny :)) I definitely won't forget that 'time' .. How embarassing more shall I be? I don't know what's the expression but I know I really did scare 2 persons! Credits to Eric, Ian, Li Teen, James, Christine, Ivan, Ding, Chris, Jalong and Charles. Love you guyss!!♥♥

3rd, definitely it's my housemate's birthday. What I did was being the evil 1 in the 3 different time. Dinner 1, in city.. we kept on changing venue after dinner. How funny was that. Then, on the day itself, I organize a mini treasure hunt for her. She got it before I went out for mass. Lol. Mission failed. Haha. Dinner2, this basically is one of the crazy moments. Well, include the drinks... I do not know how many sips were there. But it's really crazy time. 1st time too, play those crazy games. I really got caught her and I nearly scare her away. Mostly did. But nah. I still take care of her ^^ I can be that mean, but yeah, I won't do overboard. :)) will definitely miss man.

I realize that I can do things non-stop. As in I do and do till I forgot to eat my breakkie or even forgot to sleep!! That is so bad man. Way toooo bad. Maybe because I was too concentrating that everything around me seems blur. I can say, I will stay up late these few weeks. Well, thanks to some people reminding me to go sleep. Haha.. I wonder what if I am in uni in future? Even more zombie right. Right. I am a zombie dy. How sad is that?? Actually more to panda la. Haiya. Tak cukup tidur. LOL. Yeah. Me and Malay words back in action. Jiwang-ness shall be control.

Oh ya, I went to Araluen Botanic Garden few Sunday back. Flowersssssssssssss.. melted me. Lol. Too bad not much flowers left. Haiya... I wish I can camp there all day long. Another jiwanng-ness. Blehhh.

I forgot to talk about my Melbourne trip. Just remember. Heh. I met up with my bro, my cousins, and 3 friends of mine. Of course, Popo Kim. Wow.. nice catching up with ya dear. And Max Brenner with papa Iqbal! Basically hang out with some people I haven't meet in awhile. Hang out a lot with papa too. I miss Max Brenner and you!! Gahhh. Feel like going back any moment. Hang out with dearest cousins. Woot!! I still wanna get another skinnies!! LOL. Yes, I went Melbourne for shopping. A lot. But didn't over my budget ^^ Could have buy more. Sigh. But I definitely miss the food there. I learnt a lot during the trip. Some things I didn't see or pretend that I don't know. Popo, thanks for bringing me to join the evening mass. Really appreciate that a lot.♥

I went down South of WA on a daytrip a day before I went to Melb. Thanks James for the invite. I definitely want to go again. Those places really awesome man. Started to feel emo-ness again during those time. How I wish. Nah. Full stop. Not gonna say. Those beauty of God's creations, is undescribeable. We manage to stay for the sunset. How gorgeous was that? It's really... I'm so speechless. Really gonna miss those time man! I ♥ Australia's mother nature a lot! I really do fall in love with them.



Another month to go, not much people will be in around here. My 1st and only dearest housemate for this semester is going back. I really can feel that moment dy by now. N is going back too. Lol. This sounds ridiculous a bit by now. I just want to know what's next. Can't be. 1/2 more semesters to go. Haha.. I don't know. Don't wanna know. Somehow, I got more than 5 friends graduating dy. So fast :(( and they are close to me too. Quite close in some way. This is just part of a life journey. We can't escape from them. No matter how hard we wanna keep them.

Memori yang tinggal di dalam hati ini,
Ke mana ku pergi, akan ku bawakan.

Song playing: Goodbye - Lionel Ritchie

I think that's all at the moment. Am proud of myself for using less than 1GB in 10days :)) improvement!! can't believe. My library-mood is back. So gonna date in library. Hahaha... I shall back to my portfolios now. Stay tune for the next post! Tada.

Random-ness.

P/s: A random dream struck me. Oh shit. Gahhhhhh! Pull me back to reality please.

This happened after looking at some 'random' pictures. HEH.

Feeling like a kid now.

Well, this is my 2nd year or 3rd year posting about my birthday. Erk. Lol. Let me start my crapping here.

p/s: To those who cheered me, thanks a lot! As I said, I will never give up :)

Let me close my 18th years of legal age 1st!
with something from my heart.
I've learnt to be overcome my fear;
I've learnt to cherish family & friends;
I've learnt that no matter what, you are not alone;
I've learnt that small things make a huge impact;
I've learnt that no matter what, the past shall put in the 'past box';
I've learnt to smile for those beautiful flowers along the path;
I've met a lot of nice people or more to people I admire;
I've learnt a lot of new things by myself(esp. cooking!!);
I've learnt to take care of myself more now;
I've learnt there are many good things are waiting for me :)))),in near future;
I've learnt to let go things or people I loved before;
I've learnt to appreciate every second and minute in a day;
That's all I can think of :))

Just a moment being thick face,
Happy Birthday to myself :)
I know He has plans for my 19th birthday.
As I surrender, my heart and soul and mind to Him,
This is my 2nd year being away from home and celebrating without
parents and most of all, family.
But I am very glad that I have friends around.
It's my 1st year of birthday celebrated by friends.
I feel so touched. Seriously touched! ♥

Special & Lotsa Thankssss to :
1. My parents! I love it so much! ♥
2. My 'big sis'!! Mwahs.. ♥
3. Esther Siong , Min, Michelle, 'Ah Sa', Lynn, Esther Kok, Siaw Ling, Justiney for the suprise dinner. I know something was fishy dy. Haha. ♥
4. Eric, Christine, Li Teen, Ivan, Chris, Ian, Jalong, Ding, James, Charles. Another suprise dinner. And yeah. Shocking 'incident'. Erk. But me liking. lalalal.. ♥
Thanks to the FB wishes, texts and IM wishes. ♥

Hope.

Thus, I shall not lose hope now. Never~~

Special Thanks to those who cheered me up. I shall not be down again.

No matter what happened, I will keep hold onto myself.

Stay strong.

Random babbling for 2 weeks plus.

Thanks guys for the Sunday luncheon. It was cool though. Thank God the "Ikea" meatballs finished. Thanks for those lunch and dinners. By someone. I can say you're a nice person. I can't wait for the next potluck :)) Instead of insufficient of food, we were blessed with lotsa food at the last minute. But I really do enjoy the gathering. After 'camping' at my house's kitchen, it is all worth the hardwork. I was doing a last minute 'project'. And I really enjoy ♥ ♥ It was fun though. And seeing everyone with their tired eyes after midnights :D

Assignments,
Exams,
Studies,
Relatives,
Parents,
Friends,
Time,
Sleep,
Revisions,
Food,
Chats,
People.

Those are things that held me so much these few months. Despite of my insufficient of sleep, I do get cranky sometimes. At the moment, I blast with Hillsongs everyday. I never will get tired of Hillsongs. Hillsongs are my life, my medicine, my lullaby. It cure me as always.

I am really frustrated at myself for this semester. For NOT concentrating in my studies. At some points, when I nearly scream out, give up, lose hope, lose sights, lose control and cried, I force myself to absorb the Hillsongs, and yeah. Hillsongs is still my best medicine now. Since I moved, almost every weekdays, I have sleepless night. I can sleep for 4 hours plus only for that night. Now, I must abstinence from lotsa things which include FACEBOOK. I forced myself to stay away from Facebook, but failed. Now, I only log in to play Bejeweled. I got so many things to do, yet so little time. And every day at the end of the weekdays, I'll become tired, as if I never sleep like that. Sometimes, I need to break off myself from reality. From all of these, someone please give me a full stop. Or at least a pause in my life. No matter what, thanks guys, for making my day. Stay strong, shall I.

Thanks to my 'big sis' & 'big bro', you both actually make me clinge onto myself. 'Big bro', thanks for your constant encouragement. I still owe you dinner! Thanks for the treats and I can't forget the late night chat. I suppose we can chat till sunrise someday. Heh. And for reminding me, this life still beautiful though in reality it wasn't. I really appreciate those time~ And 'Big sis', thanks for always being there when I am stress stuffs like that. When we both in the midst of stress. And being my ears when I need someone. I really glad to know you since July 2008 :) ♥

Can someone just splash me with water to wake me up? Sometimes, i am just too busy with this world that I forgot myself. I saw different glimpse this time. Standing in the cold at night by the Swan river, I ponder onto things, and I went far deep in thoughts. I couldn't imagine how could it be.Though I'm still sketching them. What's with me lately? What's with the unending procrastination? Things in front of me, sometimes or most of the time, I didn't realize that I killed it slowly. Or maybe bit by bit. Every seconds counts. During those restless nights, I just wonder how I can stand strong with less than 5 hours sleep. Forwarded biological time. Sleeping late yet wake up very early. What's with me anyway? With so many things hitting me at the same time. I could just stand there can't decide where to deal first. I feel as though I'm going around a circle. Can I just stop for a second from all of these things going on around me? For certain things, I just can't explain them out no matter how hard I want them to be express out. Well, I am just me.

Let me recall something. Met my parents here and spent time with them. Okie, I am missing them now. Time passed really fast. Super fast. I spend about a day with my parents and I saw a lot through their eyes. I won't go into details. It is something hidden that.. sometimes, you wish you didn't 'saw' them but you eventually did.

Dang. I'm missing my piano now. Where I can express all my emotions at the moment. It had been awhile~ And I feel like camping at South Perth there. Just sit there whole night long. This is so random. I don't know why I am thinking all the random stuffs lately.

To some 'people', I learnt from you guys alot. Mostly good things. Or things that I should have realize long time dy but I didn't. Those chats eventually woke me up and make me think a lot. When I wish I could turn back those time,well.. Not anymore. The past shall remain history. Though.... part of them, were one of the best. It had been 2 years. 2 years... since... Hmmm. For 2 years, I learnt a lot. And 2 years I gave up lotsa things. Things I held dearly in my life. Things I love or more to people I did love. I could have walk through the path I chose with you, but no. I chose to walk my own path. And when I am 'gone',only then you realize I wasn't there. How simple a small act and change the whole picture? Or maybe it is I again. I stopped for the moment after running to chase what I want. I couldn't run further. Because the more I run, the more things I couldn't see, happen. Like I said, life move on. No matter how much you want to prevent them from happening, you just failed. Because that's life.

I got 1 random thing to do again. Cycle the whole uni from my house and back to my house. I mean seriously the whole uni. Hope there's path! Or from my house round till Jarrah Road. Same time, I think I'll cycle to some people's house 1st. Hmmm. That even will be more fun! :D

By the way, I'm done with my super long story :D you may think I am emo-ing. Actually, I'm not. Those thoughts stuck in my head quite awhile already. Tada.

p/s: I think this is my longest post so far :D for this year.

p/ss: oh ya.. I have been blogging for 3 years :D

"Turned my darkness into light
I need your peace to get me through
To get me through this night
I can't live by what I feel
But by the truth your word reveals
I'm not holding on to you
But your holding on to me
Your holding on to me "
-East to West; Casting Crowns

Countdown : 9 days~

Something.

Yeah. Something is stuck in my head quite awhile. So, be ready for my babbling here. Erk..

Yesterday was St Regina's Day. My patron saint. I am to be proud to choose her as my patron saint. Some of you must be wondering why my name is Sylvia Regina Chia. Well, actually just Sylvia Chia. Regina is my Confirmation name and it's not in my birth cert. It all started on May 2005 :) I think it's May. If I am not wrong. On the day I was confirmed with the Holy Spirit :)

Enough of that.

Well, a lot of things happened, BIRTHDAYS :DD ,weird stuffs, funny PLUS crazy people. I feel like a kid suddenly....!! T___T

By the way, having a huge exams next week!!! I very the scared now... *pray pray pray*

On the early morning of E's birthday, I saw the full moon shining brightly outside for like 7x. Hmmm. Suprisingly the moon is so bright and round. As bright as the Sun during the day. I stared at it quite awhile. Heh. I know it's a bit crap here. But, I haven't see such a full moon for quite a long time dy.

Those feelings that calm me, that voice that leads me, those stars shining in the black sky, how perfect is the picture could be with a full moon up there? :))) Watching them from afar, shining through my windows, reminding me of how beautiful life could be. Erasing those worries, hatred, anger, frustration and calm the soul~

I think I better stop babbling here. I feel so random. Anyway, at last I cooked noodle! It's quite spicy. Yum yum yum.. Heh. What's next random food I wonder?? Hmmm.

Countdown: 21 days~