Time.

At the moment, I don't know why am I still wanna type this now. So w-u-l-i-a-o. Super 1. I just realize, time pass really fast. Currently, I wish to just grab the earphones and 'immerse' with my own world. I wasn't like that before. Someone greeted me, I was like a bit blur what is going on. Way too 'immerse'. Why? Because... those frustrations killed me bit by bit without me realizing.

E, I really wish talking to you now at any moment. And May, thanks for being my ear in the college. Really grateful to meet such a good friends like you both. Sometimes, when I feel like bursting, it's just so hard. I thought it'll be that easy. I think I have to start to let go more now.

1 thing just crushed me, and 1 thing I just 'killed'. What's next?? I do not believe that till, someone told me about it. Or there are some 'signs' shown obviously. Why couldn't I see that those are coming. No wonder I saw some random glimpse that it will not happen :( I feel like giving up now. I would rather stop all this. It had been awhile since I had those feelings. And it crushed me once more. I don't want to know what's next. I rather walk away again. Again from all of those feelings that I've kept quite deeply hidden in my heart. Time to forget, time to let go, what had been with me quite awhile. Time to... focus on what's in front of me. I just feel so feeling-less now. Not even an emotion reaction. Why???? It crushed really bad this time. But those moments, I will never forget especially that 1 day. I just don't want to believe that fact. I shall deny them forever.

I am praying for something now. I hope IT'LL be accepted. *praying praying*

By the way, jogging and library become my best friends now. I just feel like jog and jog till my legs can't stand them. I feel really calm eventually after those jogs. And at the same time, I forget those worries I had in mind. I just wanna jog till the end of the earth. Lol. Yes. This is random. When I think back, I don't mind jogging everyday though. It does calm me, so... I don't mind doing it more often.

Trying to find reason to cheer up. I wonder what will happen next semester. I wonder. I don't want to know. . . . . . . It is way too difficult for me to not to think about what had killed me today. I would rather be that silent mouse hiding behind that bush.

Time to get my butt back on my studies. Time wait for no man.

P/s: Keep me strong in faith, and hold me when I need You the most, rescue me when I nearly fall, Dear Lord I pray.