: : Beauty of Life : :

Time.

2009-11-03T06:42:00.003+08:00

At the moment, I don't know why am I still wanna type this now. So w-u-l-i-a-o. Super 1. I just realize, time pass really fast. Currently, I wish to just grab the earphones and 'immerse' with my own world. I wasn't like that before. Someone greeted me, I was like a bit blur what is going on. Way too 'immerse'. Why? Because... those frustrations killed me bit by bit without me realizing.

E, I really wish talking to you now at any moment. And May, thanks for being my ear in the college. Really grateful to meet such a good friends like you both. Sometimes, when I feel like bursting, it's just so hard. I thought it'll be that easy. I think I have to start to let go more now.

1 thing just crushed me, and 1 thing I just 'killed'. What's next?? I do not believe that till, someone told me about it. Or there are some 'signs' shown obviously. Why couldn't I see that those are coming. No wonder I saw some random glimpse that it will not happen :( I feel like giving up now. I would rather stop all this. It had been awhile since I had those feelings. And it crushed me once more. I don't want to know what's next. I rather walk away again. Again from all of those feelings that I've kept quite deeply hidden in my heart. Time to forget, time to let go, what had been with me quite awhile. Time to... focus on what's in front of me. I just feel so feeling-less now. Not even an emotion reaction. Why???? It crushed really bad this time. But those moments, I will never forget especially that 1 day. I just don't want to believe that fact. I shall deny them forever.

I am praying for something now. I hope IT'LL be accepted. *praying praying*

By the way, jogging and library become my best friends now. I just feel like jog and jog till my legs can't stand them. I feel really calm eventually after those jogs. And at the same time, I forget those worries I had in mind. I just wanna jog till the end of the earth. Lol. Yes. This is random. When I think back, I don't mind jogging everyday though. It does calm me, so... I don't mind doing it more often.

Trying to find reason to cheer up. I wonder what will happen next semester. I wonder. I don't want to know. . . . . . . It is way too difficult for me to not to think about what had killed me today. I would rather be that silent mouse hiding behind that bush.

Time to get my butt back on my studies. Time wait for no man.

P/s: Keep me strong in faith, and hold me when I need You the most, rescue me when I nearly fall, Dear Lord I pray.

Dream.

2009-10-28T20:43:00.004+08:00

I had this weird dream last few weeks ago.. which make me wonder if it actually happened. I don't remember my dreams. Which is a good thing. But it is just a dream. Most of them related to my pasts.. why?? I don't get it though.

I am addicted to exercise now. Especially..... jogging ;D It's like a routine to me now. Going for a jog every week. Instead of once a week, now it's twice a week. Plus bonus of me cycling ;D Well, training both my legs. Woot. Lol. And plus the super sunny weather that tempted me to go out almost everyday. Lol. At first, I feel unfit with unconsistent exercise. But now, I'm feeling much better. And every week, I jog more and more. I feel so much better after that. And proud of my achievement too.

There are memories that still stuck in my mind till now. Especially some random acts which I think funny at first. Everytime I think of them, it make me smile. And sometime laughing. Well well, good memories stay in mind. But but but..... :((( I feel sad when it'll end soon. Can someone just stop the time and let me enjoy every second of that moment? I wish I could turn back time. I wish to stay in those moment forever. Not anymore, I got life to live here. This is the aftermath of daydreaming too much.

Emo-ness suddenly struck me from nowhere. I felt it's a bit ridiculous la. Am missing my hubby piano back home now. Feel like dragging it to my room here so that i can everyday bang on it. Yiruma's songs are really a killer now. Browsing some pictures on the net, brings me back to those moments.. those time when, well.. undescribeable. But it only happened once. I couldn't turn back time and repeat them. Because the past still remain in the past. I can just slowly

Went out with my housemate and we came across this young boy, sitting in front of his parents' shop, asking "Hello.. are you coming in?" That's the part which make me smile :) imagine that little boy, so young at that stage, not knowing that this world is so huge and so many things yet to be learn. I wonder what is in his mind at that time? When he asked us whether we are going into his parents' shop. He seems like been punished, and sat right at the entrance of the shop. But he is so innocent and adorable that we failed to resist the invitation to enter into that shop.

I have lotsa thoughts that make me wonder and question a lot about them. Sometimes I so disagree with them. I mean what people actually thought that I am. I do feel freaking annoyed with what they said. And those people knew me for more than 2 years eyh. You judged me way too soon. Way....too soon. As I said before Never judge a book by its cover. I can't believe some people jump into conclusion that soon. I do respect your comment but please do not label me as one of them. This make me really frustrated at some point. I never thought this would happen.

I can confirm that I'll definitely miss this semester the most. In life, there are so many chapters that you wrote and each chapter are different from one another. I am sure that this current chapter will be in my head till.. I don't know when. Like I said, people do come and go. And definitely those photos create beautiful and unforgettable memories.

Do you know, at some point, I feel like giving up? But I didn't. I nearly. And was down.. stuffs like that for few weeks I think. Another emo-ness struck me. I just feel so low in life at certain time. It is like... I don't know how to say. Maybe because I start to miss some people.. Can someone pause the time? Seriously please. Time just flew so fast. Yesterday, I wish it's Thursday, yet today I wish it's Friday. Then the weekend. I actually don't have much free time on weekends. Well, reason is company my housemate as much as possible before she go back :(( I start to miss her dy. Oh man. Will be stuck in this house alone in Dec. Ah Sa, don't go away okie!!!

This month October, it is definitely the best month I had this year. You must be wondering why.

1st, I got caught into a real surprise. It's the first in my life and first in Australia. I really really feel touched till almost cry. But I didn't. And the candle, really cheat me la. A lot! Basically, you guys caught me really well. Credits to Esther S, Min, Ah Sa, Yuan Ling, Michelle H, Esther K, Xiao Ling & Justine once again. Love you girlsss!!♥♥

2nd, dinner on the day itself. E ar... you really smart ah cheat me go date! Way too smart dy. Really funny till I saw Chris' head from outside. And yeah, really 'kantoi' la. You guys cheat me but I feel it's worth it. Haha.. How nice. N, you're funny :)) I definitely won't forget that 'time' .. How embarassing more shall I be? I don't know what's the expression but I know I really did scare 2 persons! Credits to Eric, Ian, Li Teen, James, Christine, Ivan, Ding, Chris, Jalong and Charles. Love you guyss!!♥♥

3rd, definitely it's my housemate's birthday. What I did was being the evil 1 in the 3 different time. Dinner 1, in city.. we kept on changing venue after dinner. How funny was that. Then, on the day itself, I organize a mini treasure hunt for her. She got it before I went out for mass. Lol. Mission failed. Haha. Dinner2, this basically is one of the crazy moments. Well, include the drinks... I do not know how many sips were there. But it's really crazy time. 1st time too, play those crazy games. I really got caught her and I nearly scare her away. Mostly did. But nah. I still take care of her ^^ I can be that mean, but yeah, I won't do overboard. :)) will definitely miss man.

I realize that I can do things non-stop. As in I do and do till I forgot to eat my breakkie or even forgot to sleep!! That is so bad man. Way toooo bad. Maybe because I was too concentrating that everything around me seems blur. I can say, I will stay up late these few weeks. Well, thanks to some people reminding me to go sleep. Haha.. I wonder what if I am in uni in future? Even more zombie right. Right. I am a zombie dy. How sad is that?? Actually more to panda la. Haiya. Tak cukup tidur. LOL. Yeah. Me and Malay words back in action. Jiwang-ness shall be control.

Oh ya, I went to Araluen Botanic Garden few Sunday back. Flowersssssssssssss.. melted me. Lol. Too bad not much flowers left. Haiya... I wish I can camp there all day long. Another jiwanng-ness. Blehhh.

I forgot to talk about my Melbourne trip. Just remember. Heh. I met up with my bro, my cousins, and 3 friends of mine. Of course, Popo Kim. Wow.. nice catching up with ya dear. And Max Brenner with papa Iqbal! Basically hang out with some people I haven't meet in awhile. Hang out a lot with papa too. I miss Max Brenner and you!! Gahhh. Feel like going back any moment. Hang out with dearest cousins. Woot!! I still wanna get another skinnies!! LOL. Yes, I went Melbourne for shopping. A lot. But didn't over my budget ^^ Could have buy more. Sigh. But I definitely miss the food there. I learnt a lot during the trip. Some things I didn't see or pretend that I don't know. Popo, thanks for bringing me to join the evening mass. Really appreciate that a lot.♥

I went down South of WA on a daytrip a day before I went to Melb. Thanks James for the invite. I definitely want to go again. Those places really awesome man. Started to feel emo-ness again during those time. How I wish. Nah. Full stop. Not gonna say. Those beauty of God's creations, is undescribeable. We manage to stay for the sunset. How gorgeous was that? It's really... I'm so speechless. Really gonna miss those time man! I ♥ Australia's mother nature a lot! I really do fall in love with them.

Another month to go, not much people will be in around here. My 1st and only dearest housemate for this semester is going back. I really can feel that moment dy by now. N is going back too. Lol. This sounds ridiculous a bit by now. I just want to know what's next. Can't be. 1/2 more semesters to go. Haha.. I don't know. Don't wanna know. Somehow, I got more than 5 friends graduating dy. So fast :(( and they are close to me too. Quite close in some way. This is just part of a life journey. We can't escape from them. No matter how hard we wanna keep them.

Memori yang tinggal di dalam hati ini,
Ke mana ku pergi, akan ku bawakan.

Song playing: Goodbye - Lionel Ritchie

I think that's all at the moment. Am proud of myself for using less than 1GB in 10days :)) improvement!! can't believe. My library-mood is back. So gonna date in library. Hahaha... I shall back to my portfolios now. Stay tune for the next post! Tada.

Random-ness.

2009-10-21T19:52:00.004+08:00

P/s: A random dream struck me. Oh shit. Gahhhhhh! Pull me back to reality please.

This happened after looking at some 'random' pictures. HEH.

Feeling like a kid now.

2009-10-08T00:56:00.006+08:00

Well, this is my 2nd year or 3rd year posting about my birthday. Erk. Lol. Let me start my crapping here.

p/s: To those who cheered me, thanks a lot! As I said, I will never give up :)

Let me close my 18th years of legal age 1st!
with something from my heart.
I've learnt to be overcome my fear;
I've learnt to cherish family & friends;
I've learnt that no matter what, you are not alone;
I've learnt that small things make a huge impact;
I've learnt that no matter what, the past shall put in the 'past box';
I've learnt to smile for those beautiful flowers along the path;
I've met a lot of nice people or more to people I admire;
I've learnt a lot of new things by myself(esp. cooking!!);
I've learnt to take care of myself more now;
I've learnt there are many good things are waiting for me :)))),in near future;
I've learnt to let go things or people I loved before;
I've learnt to appreciate every second and minute in a day;
That's all I can think of :))

Just a moment being thick face,
Happy Birthday to myself :)
I know He has plans for my 19th birthday.
As I surrender, my heart and soul and mind to Him,
This is my 2nd year being away from home and celebrating without
parents and most of all, family.
But I am very glad that I have friends around.
It's my 1st year of birthday celebrated by friends.
I feel so touched. Seriously touched! ♥

Special & Lotsa Thankssss to :
1. My parents! I love it so much! ♥
2. My 'big sis'!! Mwahs.. ♥
3. Esther Siong , Min, Michelle, 'Ah Sa', Lynn, Esther Kok, Siaw Ling, Justiney for the suprise dinner. I know something was fishy dy. Haha. ♥
4. Eric, Christine, Li Teen, Ivan, Chris, Ian, Jalong, Ding, James, Charles. Another suprise dinner. And yeah. Shocking 'incident'. Erk. But me liking. lalalal.. ♥
Thanks to the FB wishes, texts and IM wishes. ♥

Hope.

2009-09-23T06:11:00.003+08:00

Thus, I shall not lose hope now. Never~~

Special Thanks to those who cheered me up. I shall not be down again.

No matter what happened, I will keep hold onto myself.

Stay strong.

Random babbling for 2 weeks plus.

2009-09-19T22:16:00.005+08:00

Thanks guys for the Sunday luncheon. It was cool though. Thank God the "Ikea" meatballs finished. Thanks for those lunch and dinners. By someone. I can say you're a nice person. I can't wait for the next potluck :)) Instead of insufficient of food, we were blessed with lotsa food at the last minute. But I really do enjoy the gathering. After 'camping' at my house's kitchen, it is all worth the hardwork. I was doing a last minute 'project'. And I really enjoy ♥ ♥ It was fun though. And seeing everyone with their tired eyes after midnights :D

Assignments,
Exams,
Studies,
Relatives,
Parents,
Friends,
Time,
Sleep,
Revisions,
Food,
Chats,
People.

Those are things that held me so much these few months. Despite of my insufficient of sleep, I do get cranky sometimes. At the moment, I blast with Hillsongs everyday. I never will get tired of Hillsongs. Hillsongs are my life, my medicine, my lullaby. It cure me as always.

I am really frustrated at myself for this semester. For NOT concentrating in my studies. At some points, when I nearly scream out, give up, lose hope, lose sights, lose control and cried, I force myself to absorb the Hillsongs, and yeah. Hillsongs is still my best medicine now. Since I moved, almost every weekdays, I have sleepless night. I can sleep for 4 hours plus only for that night. Now, I must abstinence from lotsa things which include FACEBOOK. I forced myself to stay away from Facebook, but failed. Now, I only log in to play Bejeweled. I got so many things to do, yet so little time. And every day at the end of the weekdays, I'll become tired, as if I never sleep like that. Sometimes, I need to break off myself from reality. From all of these, someone please give me a full stop. Or at least a pause in my life. No matter what, thanks guys, for making my day. Stay strong, shall I.

Thanks to my 'big sis' & 'big bro', you both actually make me clinge onto myself. 'Big bro', thanks for your constant encouragement. I still owe you dinner! Thanks for the treats and I can't forget the late night chat. I suppose we can chat till sunrise someday. Heh. And for reminding me, this life still beautiful though in reality it wasn't. I really appreciate those time~ And 'Big sis', thanks for always being there when I am stress stuffs like that. When we both in the midst of stress. And being my ears when I need someone. I really glad to know you since July 2008 :) ♥

Can someone just splash me with water to wake me up? Sometimes, i am just too busy with this world that I forgot myself. I saw different glimpse this time. Standing in the cold at night by the Swan river, I ponder onto things, and I went far deep in thoughts. I couldn't imagine how could it be.Though I'm still sketching them. What's with me lately? What's with the unending procrastination? Things in front of me, sometimes or most of the time, I didn't realize that I killed it slowly. Or maybe bit by bit. Every seconds counts. During those restless nights, I just wonder how I can stand strong with less than 5 hours sleep. Forwarded biological time. Sleeping late yet wake up very early. What's with me anyway? With so many things hitting me at the same time. I could just stand there can't decide where to deal first. I feel as though I'm going around a circle. Can I just stop for a second from all of these things going on around me? For certain things, I just can't explain them out no matter how hard I want them to be express out. Well, I am just me.

Let me recall something. Met my parents here and spent time with them. Okie, I am missing them now. Time passed really fast. Super fast. I spend about a day with my parents and I saw a lot through their eyes. I won't go into details. It is something hidden that.. sometimes, you wish you didn't 'saw' them but you eventually did.

Dang. I'm missing my piano now. Where I can express all my emotions at the moment. It had been awhile~ And I feel like camping at South Perth there. Just sit there whole night long. This is so random. I don't know why I am thinking all the random stuffs lately.

To some 'people', I learnt from you guys alot. Mostly good things. Or things that I should have realize long time dy but I didn't. Those chats eventually woke me up and make me think a lot. When I wish I could turn back those time,well.. Not anymore. The past shall remain history. Though.... part of them, were one of the best. It had been 2 years. 2 years... since... Hmmm. For 2 years, I learnt a lot. And 2 years I gave up lotsa things. Things I held dearly in my life. Things I love or more to people I did love. I could have walk through the path I chose with you, but no. I chose to walk my own path. And when I am 'gone',only then you realize I wasn't there. How simple a small act and change the whole picture? Or maybe it is I again. I stopped for the moment after running to chase what I want. I couldn't run further. Because the more I run, the more things I couldn't see, happen. Like I said, life move on. No matter how much you want to prevent them from happening, you just failed. Because that's life.

I got 1 random thing to do again. Cycle the whole uni from my house and back to my house. I mean seriously the whole uni. Hope there's path! Or from my house round till Jarrah Road. Same time, I think I'll cycle to some people's house 1st. Hmmm. That even will be more fun! :D

By the way, I'm done with my super long story :D you may think I am emo-ing. Actually, I'm not. Those thoughts stuck in my head quite awhile already. Tada.

p/s: I think this is my longest post so far :D for this year.

p/ss: oh ya.. I have been blogging for 3 years :D

"Turned my darkness into light
I need your peace to get me through
To get me through this night
I can't live by what I feel
But by the truth your word reveals
I'm not holding on to you
But your holding on to me
Your holding on to me "
-East to West; Casting Crowns

Countdown : 9 days~

Something.

2009-09-08T18:34:00.004+08:00

Yeah. Something is stuck in my head quite awhile. So, be ready for my babbling here. Erk..

Yesterday was St Regina's Day. My patron saint. I am to be proud to choose her as my patron saint. Some of you must be wondering why my name is Sylvia Regina Chia. Well, actually just Sylvia Chia. Regina is my Confirmation name and it's not in my birth cert. It all started on May 2005 :) I think it's May. If I am not wrong. On the day I was confirmed with the Holy Spirit :)

Enough of that.

Well, a lot of things happened, BIRTHDAYS :DD ,weird stuffs, funny PLUS crazy people. I feel like a kid suddenly....!! T___T

By the way, having a huge exams next week!!! I very the scared now... *pray pray pray*

On the early morning of E's birthday, I saw the full moon shining brightly outside for like 7x. Hmmm. Suprisingly the moon is so bright and round. As bright as the Sun during the day. I stared at it quite awhile. Heh. I know it's a bit crap here. But, I haven't see such a full moon for quite a long time dy.

Those feelings that calm me, that voice that leads me, those stars shining in the black sky, how perfect is the picture could be with a full moon up there? :))) Watching them from afar, shining through my windows, reminding me of how beautiful life could be. Erasing those worries, hatred, anger, frustration and calm the soul~

I think I better stop babbling here. I feel so random. Anyway, at last I cooked noodle! It's quite spicy. Yum yum yum.. Heh. What's next random food I wonder?? Hmmm.

Countdown: 21 days~

Mia.

2009-09-05T14:44:00.003+08:00

P/s: I will be mia for awhile. How long it would be, I am not too sure :) Busy here & there. And more sleepless nights! ♥ ♥ ♥ this semester a lot ^^

pp/s: me liking night suprises [not mine though] :))) weeee~

Quote: "Ninja girl" XD

A flower blossom from ashes.

2009-08-21T02:35:00.002+08:00

Suddenly I feel like blogging. Though tonnes of hwork waiting for me. Well, I am still awake here at 2.30am Heh! Something have been stuck in my head for few weeks dy I suppose. At last, it is crack open. I am seriously 'torturing' my body now. Sleep so late, wake up so early? Yes, I am crazy for that. That's what happened when one is both morning and night person. By the way, my backache is killing me so badly now. Massage perhaps??

I am not gonna report this week. Just don't feel like.

Hmmm, I've been chatting with some people lately both face to face and IM, and eventually those chatting actually make me realize so many things we had in life that some don't. How do I explain this? I just realize I haven't been sad / angry lately. I guess I am too tired of doing so. There is so many things we should be grateful about. You don't wanna live in a life full with misery , don't you? No matter how far we go, how deep we search, how much we desire, we always miss out those good things right in front of our eyes.

This matter come to mind when I realize, I actually took the risk of myself to come here. How far is it from home? Half way through. I do have in mind to go further from here. But the place I stay now, make me don't go further anymore. I am so glad that I met quite an amount of nice people. Well, definitely most of them are older than me! But I respect them a lot.

Some things in life, we wish we could have it, though we already had it, we just forgotten about it. It could be dreams of life or even love of life. I believe that God have already plan out our life plan. From the beginning of our life in our mother's womb. Till the day, He choose to call us back to Heaven. Along the way, what we did is sketching onto a paper about our future plan, and time will decide what will happen. Things unpredicted that occur anytime and anywhere.

Sometimes, it take time for us to accept them, and most of all, adapt to it. I still remember that I don't accept the truth though I've foreseen it quite sometimes. It was like 1 year plus ago. Well, people come and go along the way. I wish I could hold onto them forever, but in reality, you have to learn to let them go. You can't cling onto someone forever right? No matter how hard you try. You just can't.

Eversince I've moved here, I realized that there are so many beautiful things we may missed, but always remember. When there is opportunity in front of you, grab onto it. Well, not for me at the moment, I glimpsed onto something and it make me wanna smile. I saw how beautiful it is for that person. I saw and dreamt of it. (Thanks for telling me about it. You make me 'sketch' more of it :) but slowly I am 'sketching' it more beautifully.)

Things happened in a past, we take that as a lesson, as a inspiration and as a map for us to live on this life. You gotta step further towards your dreams and take one step at a time.

For those people that inspired me, I am grateful to meet you guys from the bottom of my heart.

Tada.

In Loving Memory.

2009-08-21T01:36:00.003+08:00

In loving memory of Edgar Emerald Fredrick
8 March 1990 - 20 August 2009

A guy i knew since 2004-2007.
I remember vividly of those time you teased me.
We had been classmate for 4 years.
Though there's no picture of you here,
But your smile is always remembered by us.
Those crazy moments in 5L2-2007,
is always in my mind, will always do.
Thanks for making me remember those crazy moments we had in 5L2,
May your soul rest in peace.
We will miss you forever.

Crazy week.

2009-08-15T15:20:00.005+08:00

Well, I am quite busy these few weeks. So many things is on. let's begin with last week.

For 1st time in my life I was late. I woke up 10 mins before my friend came. Wth is wrong with me man. That's so not me. I was really frustrated at myself at that point. A huge lesson to be learnt. And NEVER to be repeated again. I can't waste my precious moment doing nothing now.

Last week was great. I was so exhausted and when reach Thursday, I will be really half dead. Almost every Thurs I'll sleep early. As if I could. Lol. I think i am going crazy now :) I suppose i am.

Recently I joined the CCA (Curtin Catholic Association). Not bad. Meet more people during the mass and I found my YCS and high school senior! World so small eyh. Can I say that I am the stranger in the group? Basically I am.. because all of them are studying in Curtin except me. Lol. But 1 thing which is obvious since the 1st day I went is that, they are 'funny' people. No wonder all my anger never surface lately. I am so glad that I joined the group. Thanks Adrian!! For your help in getting me in.

I hardly can recall about last week. Obviously remember that I was late for class. i really need to kick my butt to do my tutorial. I'm building them slowly. Temptation too much lately. LOL. Procrastinating a lot too. Hmmm. I need to online less lately.

That is last week.

Here's about this week:

Monday, hang out with OCF twin sister. Then we went for grocery shopping.
Tues-Thurs, classes… I was hardworking okie. Do my tutorial on Tues night.

Friday, went out to Masa’s place then Min’s. We hang out quite sometimes before J (my housemate) and I go for grocery shopping.
During the night, went to T’s house which is also E’s house for sushi-making + choir practice. Apparently, there’s a Mother Mary Icon (smth like that) dropping by in Curtin Uni and special mass is held this Sunday.

14.8.2009- A special day I won’t forget. A day when there’s laughter, with the super ‘crazy’ people I meet. Though I am new, I felt that I’ve slowly drawn into this group. Apparently I am the 2nd youngest person in the group. Thanks E, for yr comments. Haha. You’re funny. And A, thanks for helping me out when I am blur with what is going on. I wanted to talk with you but I was busy concentrating making sushi ^^. By the way, I sang till my voice got out of tune for awhile. Haven’t been really singing quite awhile. But I enjoy the fun. Heh. It’s so easily for me to catch the songs tune last night though some of them I never really heard of? :P *secret reason*

Oh ya, I did cooking too, 1 dish a day for 3 days straight. J’s friends came over so I did cook some dishes.

Anyway, I just realized that I’ve a crazy housemate :D We both have the same surname. Woot! No wonder I am super crazy sometimes. She’s my 1st housemate too. Hehe. *winks* J, don’t leave here too soon okie?

I am in the stage where I realize so many happy things in my life. It’s not that I don’t realize them before. God just opened my eyes to see the beauty and the happiness that had been missing in me for years dy. I am very grateful to Him. And to some people I just knew more, thanks for the encouragements and I am really grateful to meet you guys! More exact, people I met this semester.

In this semester, to be more specific, I am super duper busy. Trying to get use to the crazy lifestyle. Thanks to some close & good friends of mine, for being there helping me through and make me realize so many beautiful things I might had missed in the past.

Fyi, I’m having a sexy voice now. Thanks to last night after singing. Lol. Thanks to someone who occupy me last night ^^

Dilemmas, dilemmas are slowly popping out now. Balance between things I do, things I enjoy and things I put my faith in. But with His guidance, I know I can face them one by one. No more running away. I had done the riskiest thing in my life. What is it? Ask me personally if you want to know. But for once, I never regret about it and I am actually loving it a lott!!! ♥ ♥

Tada.

Frustration at myself.

2009-08-05T07:10:00.004+08:00

Am not happy at myself yesterday. Huge mistake. WHY am I still awake at 12.30am??! when I have class at 8.30am?!! What the heck.

P/s: (am scolding myself for being reckless AND late!!!)

In my heart I pray You'd let Your will be done

2009-08-02T22:08:00.002+08:00

The greatest love that anyone could ever know
That overcame the cross and grave to find my soul
And till I see you face to face
And grace amazing takes me home
I'll trust in you

With all I am I'll live to see your Kingdom come
And in my heart I pray you'd let Your will be done
And till I see you face to face
And grace amazing takes me home
I'll trust in you

I will live to love you
I will live to bring you praise
I will live a child in awe of you

You are the voice that called the universe to be
You are the whisper my heart that speaks to me
And till I see you face to face
And grace amazing takes me home
I'll trust in you

You alone are God of all
You alone are worthy Lord
And with all I am my soul will bless your name

Till I See You - Hillsong United; Look To You

Another week just done.

2009-08-02T08:05:00.004+08:00

Just had my 2 weeks of classes. And my portfolio are piling up especially my tax.
I MUST do my revision! or known as tutorial.Can't believe there're so many readings need to do. Was really busy. To be exact, more busier than last 2 semesters. So, by
the end of the day, I'll be half dead. Not for the day, but3-4 days straight. Example, this week,last Sunday,I was busy moving to my new place. Loving it!! Monday, groceries shopping with housemate. Tuesday-Thursday classes. I'm half dead on Thursday night yet so many things need to do. On Friday, Ikea shopping and OCF!! I'll talk about OCF later.

Revision for tax is a MUST!

Revision for tax is a MUST!

Revision for tax is a MUST!

Revision for tax is a MUST!

Revision for tax is a MUST!

Revision for tax is a MUST!

Revision for tax is a MUST!

Revision for tax is a MUST!

Revision for tax is a MUST!

Revision for tax is a MUST!

Revision for tax is a MUST!

Revision for tax is a MUST!

So many things haven't done yet. Basically, my week are hectic for the moment or perhaps the whole semester! :| But I do enjoy the hectic life. It means less online! and less beauty sleep! I just had my beauty sleep last night. For the whole week. My 8 hrs sleep. Haven't been sleeping well too because:
1. I wake up at 6am to online because the line here at night is really bad! I'm definitely 'invisible' online at night now.I'm a morning person, so it's alright.

2. So many things in my head. Even when I switch off the light! How bad is that? Um.. just to recall before I forget things.
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New things I've learnt:
1. Human are always human. How they live their life, we can'tjudge but just help whenever we can.
2. I am in the learning process of cooking!!! :) Heh. Actually my housemate and I cook together. Fun fun fun. More to experimenting.
3. I still need to cycle lotsa hills. Here so many hills, the last time I cycle, I came back half dead when the weather is quite cold. Anyone want to company me cycling around here? :)
4.Never ever delay to leave the house when the time suppose to leave the house. Lesson learnt. Walk faster and stop takingsweet time.
5. Don't sleep further when need to wake up. Sometimes, all my alarm sleep too after alerting me.

By the way, about my new place. It's very near to Curtin Uni,Perth. But I don't study in there okie.....Am loving my new room.1st time have such a big room in Perth! Hehe. But then, can't buy too much things. Hehe. Oh ya, did I mention I have to carry my super duper thick tax book? 1 is like as thick as Harry Porter novel. And every Tues, I gotta carry 2 of it. Plus another thin one. Torture man.

About OCF, met new people again. And funny people. Oh ya, I kept on laughing too. Probably because I was really exhausted and just laugh. I had a twin sister too O.o cham man....! I wantto run away~ she's from M'sia too. Lucky not Miri de. The songs sang during the Friday night were really good. Especially played with piano. Ok. The pianist shocked me not once but twice. I need to run away after hear him playing (kalah ba saya)

Thanks Uncle + Aunty for the helps and also,
Esther :) for being a good neighbour and helper and kind
(how long shall I continue?).
Obviously, a very kind de neighbour ^^,
Emma for allowing me to park my bicycle at yr place! Nice catching up
with you girl! Happy working next 2 weeks!
Who else??
Oh ya, my parents. Hehe :P though far2 away.

I think that's all for the moment about my update. I got a lot of tax reading need to do. Oh ya, woke up late this morning too. Cold ba today. Maybe because I didn't use jacket to sleep last night. I did cover!!

P/s: Sun please come out. I need you! My clothes still haven't dry.

Till then.

Tired week.

2009-07-23T20:51:00.008+08:00

Just finish my 1st week for this semester and there's HOMEWORK waiting for me now.All the 5 units!! Just bought my tax books today. And it's 2 books which are like each book=double of my Bible. My backache gonna get worst! If I carry 4 of them at the same time! Probably do "book-sharing" again *faint* Anyway, my books are super duper expensive! Especially the tax books. Need to save, wait.. I must save for something :) Hehe.

Oh ya, I've finished composed my poem. 5 paragraphs. Someday it'll be up here. Someday :) well well well.. what is it about? You'll find out later. Haha. Thanks to Bel Bel's poems again :P

Forgot to mention, one of my unit, the lecturer is cute XD I don't say guys are cute so easily. And kinda picky sometimes. Some girls have same thoughts with me. Haha!

I watched finish the The Little Nyonya series. Very very interesting storyline yet.. not a tear of mine drop. Seriously. I really would love being that Yue Niang. And she actually make me respect her a lot from the bottom of my heart. "The person you gonna marry, doesn't mean is the person you love". Haha. I can't believe I didn't cry watching this half romance series. It seems like relationship are like .. i don't know how to say this. Hmmmm. Well, even if I'm not into it, doesn't mean there's no feelings there! :) Haha.... I've risked my life here. I've chose my paths and I've given up a lot of things I had back in Miri. And there's no regret for it :) Never shall I be fool by his lies again. Most of all, no regret for what I have now. Things I see in a person, it always gonna happen in the near future. Trust that had been given, will never return because it is missing in the picture. And obviously it's the commitment. Does this word ring a bell? Hahah. I could have choose the other path, but I don't. Why? Because.. what I saw, gonna make me change my mind forever.

This semester, I think I did mention that I'll online less. Hahaha. I don't know. There're so many things in my head. Some doubts, thoughts, not of the present but the future. What more shall I ask, when I have enough in my hands? How much greed in you that makes you demand for more? More of what? Ask yourself.

P/s: Need my beauty sleep! And war time! :P

Tada.

No.....

2009-07-19T17:41:00.003+08:00

P/s: I just don't feel like go back. No. My heart is so disagree with my mind now. If it weren't for it, that's the last thing I would think of by now. Doubt is back. Time will decide. I couldn't bear to stay longer. Why? I don't know and wouldn't want to know. Can't I stay? Wouldn't it be happier for some 'people'? Isn't that what they want?

Hold My Heart

2009-07-18T10:05:00.006+08:00

How long must I pray, must I pray to You?
How long must I wait, must I wait for You?
How long 'til I see Your face, see You shining through?
I'm on my knees, begging You to notice me.
I'm on my knees, Father will you turn to me?

One tear in the driving rain,
One voice in the sea of pain
Could the maker of the stars
Hear the sound of my breakin' heart?
One life, that's all I am
Right now I can barely stand
If You're everything You say You are
Won't You come close and hold my heart

I've been so afraid, afraid to close my eyes
So much can slip away before I say goodbye.
But if there's no other way, I'm done asking why.

Cuz I'm on my knees, begging You to turn to me
I'm on my knees, Father will you run to me?

One tear in the driving rain,
One voice in the sea of pain
Could the maker of the stars
Hear the sound of my breakin' heart?
One life, that's all I am
Right now I can barely stand
If You're everything You say You are
Won't You come close and hold my heart.

So many questions without answers,
Your promises remain
I can't sleep but I'll take my chances
To hear You call my name
To hear You call my name

One tear in the dropping rain,
One voice in the sea of pain
Could the maker of the stars
Hear the sound of my breakin' heart?
One light, that's all I am
Right now I can barely stand
If You're everything You say You are
Won't You come close and hold my heart.

Hold my heart, could you hold my heart?
Hold my heart.

Hold by Heart - Tenth Avenue North

Glow..

2009-07-18T08:25:00.003+08:00

Lost and Stranded
Empty handed
Broken down and all alone
Your mercy it entered into darkness
And enfolded us in love

Pre Chorus:
We give You all we are
For the glory of Your Name
We give all we are
For Your praise

Just a glimmer of Your glory
And the earth falls to it's knees
You level the mountains
With a whisper
And You calm the raging sea

Pre Chorus

Chorus:
Let the earth come to life
In the light of heaven's glow
And the streets sound with joy
As the shackles lose their hold
You laid down Your life
For one and all
So we give all we are
To You alone

This means freedom for captive
And good news for those in need
Your message is justice and compassion
God of love & Prince of Peace

Bridge:
With one voice we sing Hallelujah
All the earth cry out Hallelujah
With the angels sing Hallelujah
Jesus Christ is King

Tag:
We give everything
To You alone

Glow by Hillsong from Faith + Hope + Love

Bleh.

2009-07-06T10:40:00.005+08:00

P/s: From afar, I saw 'you' smiling at me. And I smiled back. Time will tell me, but why wouldn't it be 'you' at the 1st place? Why? :)

I give You praise,
With all my heart and all my days,
I long to worship You always,
You are all I need
-My Saviour by Planetshakers; Deeper

1 more day..

2009-07-04T18:57:00.004+08:00

The future comes alive
You speak Your word and i
I'm running into Your hope
Because i've seen Your light
You bring my world to life
I'm coming after You love

Chorus:
I'm not shaken
I'm not letting go

And everything comes alive
In my life as we lift you higher
Let your freedom arise
In our lives as we lift you up
Sing it out
Sing it out
Your freedom is here

So take the limits off
No matter what the cost
I'm running after Your call
And I will run this race
See You face to face
So let Your power overflow

I will not fear
I will not hide You love
You love
All of my life
I cannot deny Your love
Your love

Freedom is Here by Hillsongs United; Tear Down the Walls

Send "Freedom Is Here" Ringtone to your Cell

Fish 'n Chips - Cottesloe - Pizza Hut - King's Park ♥

2009-07-04T15:36:00.004+08:00

Last Wed, sis and Thu, Masa and Fu the driver and I went to Freo for fish and chips. And Masa bought me and sis each a drink(he owed us :P) and we drank till we both were high while eating our lunch! Well, unsatisfied after lunch, another round of drink. Both sis and I.

Then, we went to the Maritime Museum to find out whether that front part of the maritime vehicle is a ship/submarine. Well, we saved our $5 not to go into the museum. It's really cool. Fu was right. It's a submarine on display. Too badd we didn't went into there. So just hang out to take picture.

Next, we headed to Cottesloe Beach. I still remember those car rides. ♥ It's funny guys!! We headed to Galleria then Pizza Hut and buy 2 big one and left for Fu's house. I was having headache + feel really sleepy all the way. Fu gave me to drink the Cider he bought from Ikea. It was good. Tasted like soda. Almost fell asleep while sitting on the beanie bag with sis!

I gotta rush back, so we went to King's Park for the night view. It's my 1st time going to the park at night. It was awesome. High school kids are having prom photography session. It was awesome. The conclusion for the day: Awesome and enjoyed it a lot!! we shall have another car ride! I've finished my Fish and chips that! Probably because I was high and it's my 1st time going out with my coursemates. Actually, 2nd time but the 1st, Masa didn't come.

I went to watch Transformers 2 the week before. It was awesome!! Sis wants me to company her to watch The Proposal. Hmmm. We shall enjoy our holiday sis! Before we go back to college.

Memories just flew back,
The moments when we had in the past,
For I couldn't tell and judge,
The answers are unanswered.
Why I didn't see this at first?
I should have wait longer for it.
But I didn't.
Would it be what I am thinking all this while?
Would it?
............to be continue.

Oh ya... I just remembered. Last year, 1st July. I had friends' gathering before I head off to here. Same date I had gathering last Wed. Conincident? Perhaps or just random :) It was at Marina Bay. Hmmm. Memories, memories. Bel bel's poems inspired me :) ♥

Tada.

Sudden ..

2009-07-02T21:52:00.001+08:00

All in sudden, this poem composed by me in 2007 came upon.

Read this.

Crappie..

2009-06-30T21:15:00.003+08:00

I just feel like crapping craps here. I don't know what's with people testing my patience a lot. And most of all, don't make me be middle person okay. I really dislike that.
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5 more days (thanks to the TV ad) for my freedom. I can't wait. Credits to Emma. Despite of the heavy rain this morning, my bike is arrived safely at her house's garage. I don't care if I got wet due to the rain, I just want to make sure my 'baby bicycle' is at good hand.

I just have the feelings of being invisible. Invisible of everything. I don't know why. 3 more weeks till I'm back in reality. Back to my busy life. I can't wait to get to Ikea. I can't wait in less than a month.

Life in front of you is all unpredictable. People along the way, come and go. No matter how hard you want to keep them in your life, you just can't. I don't know why. It's just that, sometimes is it I trust people way too soon and on the other hand, they took advantage on me? Thanks for that, I ain't a fool anymore. I just hate the fact some people being "inconsiderate".

Looking forward and deleting my past, is what I actually did this semester. Well, that's what new life is for,isn't it? I was forced to do so.

Enough of the lies and hypocrisy in front of me. I'm done with it. Because what I know is that, all this while, it's just a lie for everything you did. Oh, I'm sorry that I didn't know. But at 1st place, why you put yourself in so much risk in the unforeseeable future? Don't try to be nice to me when actually you're not. If I knew this is coming, I should had escape for it. But I've already prepared for the worst. I am not a kid anymore.

tada.

Don't judge me way too soon.

2009-06-27T14:52:00.004+08:00

At some point, I don't understand what's with the human greed? Especially for money. Why? Greed.. greed and greed.

To some people I owe you,your kindness, I really appreciate that a lot. Especially to Emma, my neighbour in this suburb. And also Esther and Min.

I've learnt that people come and go in our life. Both good and bad people.. Sometimes, you do question why the good 1 live shorter than the 1 that is bad. Well, I do question myself sometimes. That's God's will. He wants me to go through all of these to wake me up and realize things that I don't see from the beginning. There are many things that I can't predict though most of them I can sense earlier. Sometimes, I feel frustrated with some people. Why? Because they seems to forget good things that is awaiting in front of them when others don't have. For instance, you already got a job. Currently, I am having trouble to find a job that is not related to food industry. I am hoping to get 1 as soon as possible. I must not give up.

Obviously that's 1 of my struggles at the moment. Struggles I must achieve as soon as possible. Struggle to keep up on myself. I just can't wake up and pretend all these things don't happen anymore. I just feel like I'm losing my faith and hope these days. I turned to someone whom I, myself may not recognize. Things don't come easily if you don't work for it. I agree with that. When you enjoyed the good things too much, you forgot where are the source of the good things.

Just random. Tada.

Windy day.

2009-06-23T19:37:00.005+08:00

I was waiting for the bus this morning and it was really cold. I got a conclusion, some Ozzy-ian are really friendly especially those older generation. Anyone agree with me? I had a chat with an elderly lady. Just random chat. I went shopping for some stuffs. I didn't know that I'm kinda picky person till that sales guy at the Rebel shop did actually succeed to persuade me to buy the light.

I have a new addiction. BEJEWELED. I played till my right hand feel cramp. My right hand does feel weak a bit now. I'm so hell addicted.

I got a shocking news from a good friend of mine. I hope he'll be fine. I'm praying for him and leaving him up to Him. I feel a bit down now. I can't question why it happened but no matter what, God please watch over him and keep him safe in Your hands.

And 1 point I realize that there's danger open wide in front of me. It's up to me to escape it or to take it. My alertness did decline a bit. I realize that when I walk and cycle. It did shocked me. I was thinking too much when I walk. Part of me want to enjoy the fresh air I breathe in and out everyday. I just must enjoy the air here.

I was reading someone's blog and it took me quite awhile to really think of the reality. I was flooded with my thoughts. Well, most of the time. I learnt lotsa things when I am here. By myself. The word "alone" is invisible in my dictionary. So yeah. When there's people around you, appreciate them and respect them even they hurt you so much. You don't live to hate. And there are things in life you can't escape. That is illness. So, do make sure you take care of yourself well. Not all illness can be cure with medication and stuffs. Either you take it or you deny it. No matter how long you deny it, it's still there. Wake up and think of a way to prevent it. It's never too late to start today.

And for things in life that had happened, keep the good memories and forget the bad 1. That's my quote in life. And for those good memories, smile when you thought of them. Because no matter how good it is, you can't go back and repeat them. I believe that bad things happened for a reason. For the past years, I lost the people that I cared a lot. Who they are, doesn't matter anymore because.. I am glad that I've met them in my life.

Well, I've put my past behind now. I don't wanna care about them too much because what I know is that I have a present life to live. Whether I use them wisely or I play with them. Life is like a game. There's good and bad, there's happy and sad, there's success and failure, there's love and hate.

I don't know why I'm saying all of this, I guess I'm glad that I've closed my past chapters in my life. After all this while, I'm glad I'm out of Miri. New life, new friends, new adventure. Close the old memories and life. It's not like I bid farewell to Miri. Miri is still part of me.

I better continue with my Heroes. Few episodes left. And buried myself with novel.

Remember all the things we wanted,
Now all our memories are haunted,
"We" were meant to say goodbye.

Chao~